Notes on the Nineteenth Maria-sama ga Miteru Novel, Introduction and Part 1

Introduction: Before anything else, I must take this opportunity to thank Sukoshi, whose assistance was invaluable. She translated "In Library IV" and the "Cherry Blossom Folk Tales." Thank you, thank you.

There's not much to say about this book, really. It was another collection of short stories, like Variety Gift. It took me a really long time to translate, and I probably would have given up if Sukoshi hadn't promised to kick in and do some.

As usual, translator's notes ate set off in parentheses, this time with either an (E:) or (S:) depending on the translator.

Please remember to thank us. :-)


****

Notes on the 19th Maria-sama ga Miteru Novel, In Library

"Good day."

"Good day."

Cheerful morning greetings echo through the clear blue sky. Today, once again passing under the tall gates into Maria-sama's garden, maidens assemble with their pure smiles like angels.

Their bodies which know no stain are wrapped in dark-colored uniforms.

The pleats of their skirts should not be disarranged, nor should their white sailor collars flutter; here walking slowly is preferred. Of course, here there are no shameless students that would run to make it before the very last moment.

This is Lillian Girls Private School.

Established in the 34th year of the Meiji period, it is said that this academy was founded for the sake of the daughters of the nobility, a traditional Catholic girls' school.

It is located within the Tokyo Metropolitan area. Even now, much of the original greenery of Musashino remains as, watched over by God from kindergarten to university, this garden undertakes to complete the education of these maidens.

Times change and from the Meiji Period, three times a new era has begun until the present day Heisei, but for eighteen years, pure young women pass through here for a sheltered upbringing and education in culture. It is a valuable education, but something just as precious is left behind in that school.


When you say library, you think of a castle of dreams.

When it is possible to become friends with the books who dwell there, it is a good thing.

However, there might be a book that is hard to please inside, one that is shy of strangers. If one is able become friends one degree at a time with it, one might be attached to it for life.

Don't forget it.

When books are born, those little ones keep waiting to be read.



In Library - - I



It was after school on Tuesday, two days after the school festival was over.

Because it had not been convenient at the time, Yoshino-san, Shimako-san and Noriko-san had taken the items used for the play from the gymnasium to the room on the first floor of the Rose Mansion where, after everything had been replaced and cleaned up, Yumi was assaulted with sleepiness.

"Yumi-san?"

As she continued to climb the stairs to the second floor, her gait slowed. Shimako-san, who was walking in front of her noticed, turned and spoke over her shoulder.

"Is something the matter?"

"Nothing, just that I suddenly became sleepy."

"Are you not feeling well?" Shimako-san put her hand on Yumi's forehead, muttering, "normal temperature."

"Like I said, I'm just sleepy." Yumi yawned "Fwaaaah."

"Just a little. Didn't you get enough rest yesterday?" Yoshino-san, coming up the stairs, entered the conversation.

Yesterday was a normal non-national holiday Monday, but since Sunday had been the Lillian school festival, there had been a compensatory holiday.

"Compensatory holiday for what," Yoshino-san would argue, but in truth, she had spent that compensatory rest day out playing with Rei-sama, Yumi knew. They had gone to the movies in the afternoon, where it had been mostly empty and very comfortable, she had boasted this morning.

"The rest of the family did normal activities, so you couldn't sleep late, huh."

Shimako-san followed up, guessing that Yumi was the type to sleep anxiously. Moreover, that in the Fukuzawa family this was forgiven as the sleeping tradition.

"...More like, I never managed to sleep at all. I napped at noon, so when it came to night, I was awake. It's a little like jet lag."

Then Yoshino-san promptly filled in the word. "You were doing a one-person review of the school festival in your futon, weren't you? Yumi-san is the type to worry over things later, huh. Like, it would have been good if that happened, it would have been good if this had happened."

"...Not really."

No, it wasn't possible to express it, but it was painful. It wasn't quite a one-person review instead, when she lay down to sleep, many things advanced on the inside of her head, and sleep became truly distant.

"Seriously, we can't have you still exhausted from the school festival." Noriko-san said as she climbed the stairs, and turning, gave Yumi a push from behind with a "here we go."

"Well. Thanks."

"Jus a little pick me up, you know?"

"Just a little?"

This was sheer bliss. Ah, is there anything comparable to Lillian, I wonder. But she was not yet ready to call it Heaven.

"Lead actress, well done." How sweet they are, the first-years. How nice that Shimako-san took her petit soeur so early on.

(...Huh?) That was bad. Something, that--.

"I say, Yumi-san." Shimako-san muttered. "Onee-sama pointed it out, but your face really does change."

"Eh?" Was she showing many of her "hundred faces"?

"When Noriko pushed on your back, you must have remembered something unpleasant."

"Why?"

"You just looked out of sorts, for a moment your expression clouded over."

"...Not really." No, it wasn't possible to express. Best friends are not to be made light of.

As they entered the second floor room, they were wrapped in a warm pleasant scent.

"Ah, good work."

"Since I thought you'd be back soon, we prepared the tea." Rei-sama and Sachiko-sama turned towards the four with bright smiles.

"Rosa Chinensis made the tea, Rosa Foetida is the waiter!" Noriko-chan cried joyfully. This was rose hip tea, if you continued along with the idea, it was true. Of course, there were no roses in the sweets.

"About the tea, of course we can make it. We were first-years too, you know." Rei-sama smiled, and gestured at Sachiko-sama with a "right?"

"That's correct. Understanding our Onee-sama's favorite flavors, remembering their cup. It's inevitable to think of it, even now."

"What, I don't believe you. Because I've always seen Rosa Chinensis and Rosa Foetida as upperclassmen." And Noriko-chan sighed. Really, when Yumi had also looked at the sempai, she had not been able to believe that they had ever been the same year as her.

"But Noriko-chan already has the presence of an upperclassman, doesn't she." Rei-sama said.

"Eh, don't be absurd." Noriko-chan waved both hands in surprised denial.

"Indeed. My soeur is still childish."

"That goes for my soeur as well." Sachiko-sama sighed. At any rate, both Red and Yellow Rosas said this looking directly at their cute soeur. Well, no, because they were standing to one side as they spoke.

"Those two won't be spontaneously taking petit soeur for us. ...Ah."

Shimako-san seemed to become interested halfway, to stick up for her two friends who were being singled out as victims, even though there was no real way to follow up.

"It's impossible. Especially my Yoshino. Although a positive report is eagerly awaited, there's been no indication that she's initiated a search. At this rate, I won't see a grandchild by the time I graduate."

Rei-sama, who didn't know about Yoshino-san's promise to Eriko-sama, cackled.

The cutoff day was one short month away. Yoshino-san, who hated to lose, when she used her latent strength to get a soeur, what on earth would become of Rei-sama and her little sister--.

Although it concerned other people, she said, with concern, "In that area, Yumi-chan is okay. She has two possible contenders and is popular with the first-years. Soon we'll become a little worried, but."

"Yes, what shall we do?"

What shall we do, indeed, Sachiko-sama. Throwing it out so lightly. "Take a soeur," she said, putting on the pressure, so which of us is it that has to do anything?

"Speaking of potential candidates. Those two haven't come here since the school festival ended." Rei-sama looked at Noriko-chan as she spoke. Because those so-called "potential candidates" and "those two," Matsudaira Touko-chan and Hosokawa Kanako-chan, were her classmates.

"How are they?"

"How are.... They both seem to be busy somehow."

"Busy?"

"Yes. So, some time ago, Yumi-sama came by to see them, but they weren't in the classroom. Touko-chan had her club activities and Kanako-chan is doing something or other."

Yoshino-san waited until Noriko-chan's final word, then inquired, keen interest written all over her face. "Yumi-san, what did you go to the first-year Tsubaki class for?"

"Nothing. To thank them, and see their faces, that's all."

"Hmmm. Which one of their faces?"

"Which one, you say. Well...both." If she had said that she just wanted to thank them again, after giving them both a mechanical pencil for their assistance, it would have been a deception.

Incidentally, however, if she had met with Kanako-chan she was going to decide when they would take the promised two-shot photo. In that case, she might want involve second-year Pine Class Tsutako-san to take the photo for Kanako's special request, she guessed.

But, to add one thing to another, Yoshino-san's question about "which" persisted, even though she herself fell silent. For sure, everyone was wondering which, Kanako-chan or Touko-chan, she would become her soeur. Yumi never designated either one, because she didn't remember either one announcing her candidacy.

Maybe, there was a precedent, though. Before being taken by Shimako-san as her soeur, Noriko-chan had been in and out of the Rose Mansion. Last year, it was the same for Shimako-san.

Precedent. Precedent. Precedent.

Generation after generation, the soeur of Rosa Chinensis had been called Rosa Chinensis en bouton, and when she took a soeur she was called Rosa Chinensis en bouton petite soeur.

Not just Yoshino-san, it would be bad if she didn't seriously consider it, and soon, Yumi thought. She wasn't limited to Kanako-chan or Touko-chan, nor should she lightly discount them, either--. But, what would be the right thing to do? Even if she thought back on the sequence of events when she became a soeur, Yumi couldn't use it as a complete reference.

(Maybe, right now the door will open into the room with vigor and one of the first years will be standing there, and I'll bump up against fate...like that would ever happen.)

No, no.

(Then, in front of Maria-sama in the tree-lined lane, I'll fix a first year's tie?)

... ... ... ... ... ... .

(However, which one?) Yumi fell prostrate onto the desk. That was the biggest problem.

She could look for a soeur within the many first-year students, couldn't she? But it was okay if she was already attached to the easy mark.

(That's right.)

Even if she found a first-year that suited her, she might be rejected if she made overtures. Or she might already have an onee-sama.

And among those who are free, there may be ones who reject her because they would prefer to pass their time unpaired.

Like Kanina Shizuka-sama.

The scent of rose hip tea drifted about the room, carrying with it the name of that nostalgic person.

Rosa Canina.



Silent Night's Vision


The illusion of a match's flame.

That was probably a present of God's compassion to the girl who was about to leave this world.

What she wished for, what she desired, she hadn't been able to gain possession of, until the very end, that little match girl.

--Her beloved grandmother.

The next morning, on the face of that frozen girl was a smile.

Therefore, to have something called something a dream or a vision is very good. No matter how other people saw it, that girl certainly had gained possession of it.

I wondered what she saw in that flame.

Speaking of the moment of not being in the world, what would be necessary for me to able to smile at that time?

***

It was an extremely cold day.

It was not snowing.

In the area where the dark road began, there was a girl wearing a hat, walking alone. However, she was not freezing. If you ask why, it wasn't just the hat, it was also the uniform, the coat, the shoes and the muffler that she wore. She was not the little match girl.

(Just kidding.)

It was quiet as she walked, she thought, probably because it would snow soon. A cold, wintry wind rustled the dry leaves on the trees, blowing into her marrow, a small hangnail in her mind, rubbing her the wrong way.

Even if it made it colder comparatively, it would be better if it snowed. The lack of sound could continue, the cloud of snow would dance around her then embrace her quietly.

"Snow."

Her eyes stopped by chance on fir trees that stood in front of a boutique, where stuck on the needle-like leaves was a little cotton padding. Next to one another were little leather boots and stars. A neon sign in the shape of a candle flickered on and off.

It was a so-called Christmas tree. Today was Christmas Eve.

Jingle bell, pure night, red-nosed reindeer. Throughout the town, a mixture of Christmas songs flowed from the stores, gross slush, like mixed juice.

Shizuka was drawn to the fashion building, like a moth to an insect zapper. Somehow, she found herself going up to the fifth floor where there was a book corner, although there was no special book drawing her in when, as she rode the escalator, she heard the voice.

"Ojou-san."

Because at the beginning, she did not think it was meant for her, she did not stop. However.

"Yes, you. You, the girl with the Lillian Girl's School coat and long hair."

Looking around the confines of the space, there didn't seem to be any other Lillian coat-wearing girls with long hair other than herself that the person could be calling out to.

"Me?"

The direction the voice had come from was a fortune-telling booth, where the fortuneteller within was waving her over. A woman, roughly in her 30s.

"If you'd like, I can take a look."

"No, that's fine." As she cut off and made to pass by, the black woman grinned.

"You won't be interrupting. The last customer just left."

"..." Just, she said. Shizuka smiled bitterly. From time to time she came to this building but, she had never seen this fortune-telling corner in this row before. There were three booths, usually with admirable business. Of course, she didn't know who usually were there, maybe when she wasn't there, business was good.

That's fine, she refused, and was going to pass by, on the other hand, right now there was an empty seat that was being offered to her, so she sat and the fortuneteller regarded her with approval.

"Last year was a turning point."

"Hehh..."

She was a little surprised.

The fortuneteller had said that without even taking Shizuka's arm but even so, it was more or less a hit. However, was it a shot in the dark or a fluke? For just about anyone, a turning point would come every few years.

"Because of that, something good will happen."

"Something good?" Shizuka snorted. Something good, she says? What kind of tangible is that?

"So you’re saying that my father will buy the winning lottery." She perfunctorily said "Thank you for the consultation," got up and left. However good a fortuneteller she was, it wasn't her nature to listen to any of it.

(Because, really, something good has no reason to happen in the near future.) So she thought as she ran down the escalator, but midway on the second floor, she rethought it, "No."

The fortuneteller could have been talking about her turning point next year, when she spoke. Perhaps next year, if one looked at it objectively, could be seen as "something good." But, even if she had not recognized its significance, that could totally have been the meaning.

At least, right now she had no desires for next year. Visiting somewhere far away could be called a "turning point" since her life would change if she thought about it, but it didn't hold any uplifting feeling.

Why did that cut through her and cool her brain, though? As if in proportion to the rising excitement bubbling up in the town, she herself found her own energy lowering. Although the building was overflowing with people, she was isolated.

She wasn't cold. However, there was no point at which she shared the feelings of any of these people going back and forth, just like the little match girl. In the area of the first floor exit, there was a slight reduction in the space of the usual sundry items for sale, where Christmas cakes were being promoted and sold.

"Time sale from 5 o'clock! Right now, ten percent off or more on all champagne and scented candles." The sales clerk raised his voice to say that from 6 o'clock things were 20% off.

There was no time limit on the Christmas cakes. Selling all this mountain of piled up cakes by the time the store closed seemed a Herculean task.

"How is the chicken? It's hot-hot!" She moved away from a woman wearing a plain red miniskirt who was holding out a toothpick stuck into a piece of fried chicken.

That was not what she wanted.

That was not the thing that would warm her heart.

Shizuka bought some matches and left the building.

When she arrived home, her mother was not there.

Both foyer and hallway were lit, so she must have gone out just before. Above the shoe box next to a flower vase, she had left a note that said, "Gone to pick up the cake I ordered."

Memo in one hand she looked into the kitchen, where in the oven a chicken was being broiled. In the refrigerator a bowl of salad keeping cool.

With the check on the dishes for dinner complete, and time left before the chicken had to come out, the timer on the rice cooker that her mother had set went off.

Grilled chicken, crab and fruit salad and the staple white rice; that was the typical Japanese Christmas.

Entering the living room, she took out her report card from her bag and laid it on the sideboard with the memo from her mother. Then her eyes fell on the container of sweets, from which she plucked a chocolate bonbon, then threw her body onto the sofa with a thud.

After she was seated, she noticed that the light was over by the air conditioner and she had no intention of getting up specifically for the purpose of turning it on.

Light leaked in from the hallway from the neighbor's garden where they had turned their house into a grand illumination, so she sat in the atmosphere of the vague light.

It wasn't so much that she was tired. It was just that now she was seated, she didn't feel like getting up. Until her mother returned, she wanted to just lie around, she decided, as she unwrapped the silver paper off a chocolate bonbon and threw it into her mouth.

"Hmm?" When she had thrown herself down on the sofa, something was tight against her thigh, Searching in her pocket, she pulled something out of it, that she had forgotten that she had purchased previously, wrapped in a 100 yen shop tape, the box of matches.

"6 little packs for 100 yen, huh?"

She didn't know if that was a good price or if it was cheap. She had never bought anything like matches until now. Why had she wanted this thing at all, really? She held it up in the dim light. Maybe, it was that. Coming to a realization, she quickly reached for it.

Shizuka had, for the two weeks previous, reread fairy tales for the school library end of the year newsletter article on "Books to Read in Winter." Thinking about it, that was probably it.

"A Christmas Carol," "Snow Queen," "Dog of Flanders".... And in there, "The Little Match Girl."

It had been so long since she had read "The Little Match Girl," so it had surprised her that her thoughts on the story were so different now from before.

When she was a child, the tale of the young protagonist going hungry and freezing to death because no one would reach a hand out, was just a sad story.

However, it was different now.

Just before dying, next to her she had seen a vision of the one thing she wanted most, so she thought that it wasn't entirely a tragedy.

Because those adults who saw the girl's corpse and looked upon it with compassion, thinking, "How sad," didn't know what had happened to her that night.

The girl had been embraced by her "Beloved Grandmother," which had been bliss.

From then on. Shizuka had wondered if she could see a vision in the flame of a match.

"A vision, huh?"

Shizuka peeled the vinyl covering off and took one out. She stood up from the sofa, rearranged her position, pulled the ashtray across the glass and pulled out one match.

The match burned much more brightly than she had thought it would.

Maybe it was because the room was so dim; the flame illuminated the space, floating unusually brightly. As if it was spreading out from another world into this room where it was cut off. As the wood caught fire, she blew it out and placed it in the ashtray. No one in the house smoked, though they had a sparkling glass ashtray as an ornament, where the cinders were laid out.

When you use a match, it changed that much from before to afterwards, you could say. That was all. No vision appeared. Because that had been, from beginning to end, a gift from a God who had pitied the girl.

A not freezing or starving girl who went to school everyday would not be rewarded with this.

"I'm glad to have chocolate bonbons to put in my mouth."

That was a feeling that the little match girl who had been hungry never even came close to, she guessed. "If I were to die tomorrow, would God show me a vision, I wonder."

What were God's criteria for handing out salvation? Probably if a lamb was in a situation that fulfilled the requirements, He would, she thought.

If that was the case, then it was fine. Murmuring that, she took another match.

The yellow and orange flame was a bright spot. In the middle of it, the figures of two girls wearing the same school uniform as she appeared.

Hey, Shizuka smiled. Since I'm outside God's limits, I can use my own power to draw it out.

No, this probably couldn't be called a vision. Why, because it was something she had seen recently at school and, just like rewatching videotape, it wasn't more than just playing it again.

They held hands as they walked, the two.

One of them was a second-year like Shizuka, but in another class, the other a first-year underclassman. The two were soeur.

There were no words between the two, however, the loops of black ribbon that tied up their hair shone like symbols of happiness. (E: This is the end scene of Yumi and Sachiko's first Christmas story.)

Shizuka lowered the burned out match into the ashtray. Like a lingering memory, the white smoke rose up.

It wasn't that she was jealous. She did not want to be like them. Then, why was she so interested in them?

Certainly, it was a beautiful spectacle, which made her smile as she remembered it. But was it more than that, she questioned.

Shizuka picked up another match. This time, the sight that came to mind was that of a first-year student waiting in front of Maria-sama.

At first glance, the lines looked thin, but if you looked more closely, you became a little more acquainted with the girl. This girl who was waiting, was the soeur who had once canceled their relationship. The onee-sama appeared, and the girl with braided hair bowed deeply and said, "Please make me your soeur."

Look at that.

In reality, that may not have been what happened, it was just an image that Shizuka could have easily reconstructed. The school paper, the "Lillian Kawaraban" article must have been written skillfully to leave that impression. Or maybe, because she had seen all those girls who had been so easily influenced, reconciled. Probably it was all of them combined, she thought.

Either way, that girl's actions had truly transformed the high school with a tremendous impact.

To return a rosary, then once again return to have it placed on one's neck was extraordinary. You could say she rallied not from zero, but from minus.

However, such hesitation was not seen in that girl. If there was something that she wanted, the no thought of dignity or propriety stopped her from going straight ahead for it. It was a refreshing, and likeable personality. Shizuka laid the burnt out match in the ashtray and lit another one. This time, a fair-skinned, fleeting beauty appeared in the flame.

That face came to mind but nothing more than that appeared. That person was, of the earlier pair, the first-year student, but no more than that came to mind.

But soon the flame went out.

So. The vision she had thought she wanted to see eluded her. Then, what would you say she wanted to see? What was it that she wanted?

"I don't know."

Shizuka held her head in her hands.

The current situation was painful, she longed for someone to save her from it.

But what, specifically, she desired, wasn't indicated.

She could not expect God to hold out his hand here.

Now, Shizuka was at a loss for words for why that little match girl's grandmother's warm chest was less worthy than Nero in the painting by Rubens.

"...Help me." Her eyes were closed, her ears were shut.

Outside the window, the illumination flashed on and off annoyingly.

The refrigerator gave a low rumble, the rice cooker chuckled insolently, the scream of an ambulance from the distant main road all got on her nerves.

"Ah...." What was she doing?

One by one, there came a really little sound. It was always there, so she had never noticed.

" 'Shizuka-chan.' " As she had necessarily rejected the outside world, there came a voice from her inner darkness.

"I want someone like Shizuka-chan, another reliable person in the Rose Mansion."

A familiar voice. It was nostalgic, the voice of the former Rosa Chinensis.

"Well, isn't Youko-chan that kind of reliable person now?"

The answer came from the former chorus club president.

She remembered. This was a single frame from when Shizuka was still a first-year.

The location was the music room. The former Rosa Chinensis was close friends with the former chorus leader, and would stop by the music room before practice started or after it finished to chat. Shizuka had not joined in the conversation, but she had been working on arranging a score, so the conversation naturally reached her ears. "Youko-chan" had already been made the former Rosa Chinensis' little sister. The generations had changed and now Rosa Chinensis was superb.

"She's a second-year. What will she do if she's alone, but."

"But?"

"There's a one person in the first-year she wants, she says, and means it."

"Hmm." As the former chorus leader sighed, she reached out and embraced Shizuka's shoulders.

"But, this girl's no good. Because we don't know when she'll be flying off to Italy."

"Oh, is that right? Shizuka-chan?"

Before she could answer, the former chorus president said, from her side, "By saying that, she's cut herself off. From being requested to become soeur. A few people have come here for that purpose."

"Perhaps, it's just expedient? In reality, there's someone she has in mind, and is secretly waiting for an invitation?" Then she peered into her face closely. Because the former chorus club president hadn't said anything, Shizuka had chuckled and said, "Maybe."

"Maybe? You mean it's true? Then, you should just say that. Because that relationship can be mediated. For the sake of cute Shizuka-chan, one or two of us can pitch in and help."

"Wait. It's no good making promises without thinking them through. The other person might already have a soeur. If that's the case, there would be carnage, a total bloodbath." The two third-years went off on their own continuing the conversation, leaving Shizuka behind.

"So? Does that person have a soeur? Or not?" Drawing closer, her mouth open.

"Um. I, don't really have a particular person I've set my mind on, I was just saying..."

"What the, you don't have a person in mind? How boring. In that case, what do you think? Our little white one will be left all alone otherwise."

The former Rosa Chinensis spoke like she might about a puppy but, Shizuka understood. Who she meant.

"Is Sei-chan no good?"

Sei.

Hearing that name come from the former chorus president's mouth formally, Shizuka felt a complicated mix of relief and a tightening of her chest.

"What about Shiori-san?"

The former Rosa Chinensis cast her eyes down. At that time, although Rosa Gigantea en bouton had no soeur, she did have an extremely strong bond with that fated person.

"But, we don't know what will happen in the future. I have my Sachiko-chan and Rosa Foetida has Rei-chan. So, as to not be defeated, we want to line someone like Shizuka-chan up, but haven't found anyone."

"I'm honored Rosa Chinensis." Ending things diplomatically with a smile, Shizuka left that place.

The words were appreciated but, because her objective was to study abroad, even if she had not said it, everything would be left aside as she prepared for that.

The bomb that Satou Sei-sama had not take a soeur previously was a believable part of the conversation.

That Shiori-san had not become a little sister. Who would have become that person's soeur?

"Why is that," she muttered as she returned to the present. Now, she was at that person's side, that first year student, like she was meant to be there.

To be able to see that future, she would have to postpone going to Italy.

Tears ran down her cheeks. With a shaking hand, Shizuka took out a match. She felt like she was praying. Like, dear God, please save me.

Let me get rid of this horrible emotion, this person inside my heart,

At the time she this feeling took hold of her, she wasn't going to Italy. To make a song resound in people's hearts was her reason for singing.

After striking it several times, finally the match was lit.

God did not appear together with the flame. However, now maybe Shizuka could see the figure she wanted the most.

"Rosa Gigantea...Satou Sei-sama."

"Good day." That person turned with a grin toward Shizuka.

"I've always liked you."

"I see. Thank you."

Just as she said that, her features began to crumble.

"----" The angle she held it at was bad; the match tip burned, then went out. Shizuka quickly took another match, summoning up the vision. Before long, those noble features appeared.

This face she wanted to touch, how many times had she wished for that. Shizuka touched that cheek. This was a dream. Therefore, no one had to hold back, no one would care.

"Sei-sama. I admire you." The first time she touched that skin it was cold, stiff, as if it were the surface of a stone statue.

"I see. Thank you." At the same time she laughed, that stiff face crumbled apart like sand. What had been Satou Sei-sama gathered underfoot, where a wind blew it away until there was nothing left.

"Sei-sama-" Shizuka took another match in a daze. Whereupon a slightly more roughly hewn Satou Sei appeared. When she carelessly touched it, it crumbled away again. Shizuka cautiously approached and spoke.

"Sei-sama. I love you."

At which, "I see. Thank you."

It repeated, every time, the exact same expression, only the same words. However, Shizuka waited. The match flame did not disappear. There might be another remark.

But no matter how long she waited, nothing else happened. Like it was a television still frame, that person did not move.

Shizuka lit the next match. In every case, in response to her disclosure of her feelings, only that smile floated up, and her "Thank you" and expression of thanks were repeated. No matter how many matches she lit, it repeated. But she kept on, because maybe the next would continue the scene.

As she lit the match, Shizuka noticed hopefully. The reason it couldn't not proceed.

That is, firing off "like" in such rapid succession was not the way she would confess in the real world.

This vision was, after all, her creation. Shizuka had not created a real reflection of Satou Sei's response to a confession by an underclassman she was not close with.

When a confession was made, what kind of reaction would that person have.

Just smile, as if it were a joke?

If she already had a soeur, then seriously refuse it?

Or --

"Sei-sama, wait." As the next one grew dim, Shizuka called out desperately. However, there was no reason for her to wait. This wasn't reality, it was a vision.

"Come here, Shizuka." As if she had said everything she wanted to say, she turned her back as she dimmed.

"Wait, Sei-sama. Please, let me go." Before she knew it, in this deep place, she had lost her way. This was the labyrinth of her heart.

As Sei-sama's figure disappeared into the dark, it appeared as if the edges of her mouth turned upwards just slightly.

"I don't understand." Shizuka shook her head back and forth violently.

Because I don't understand, I'm confused. Because I don't understand, I seek help.

"Shizuka, what are you hoping for?" The figure completely disappeared.

"Really, aren’t you going to answer?" And again, the voice.

"----" Looking around at her environs, Shizuka found herself holding what was left of a burnt out match in her hand, sitting by herself on the living room sofa.

As always, the house next door's illumination flashed and clicked, the refrigerator and the rice cooker made their sounds, not at all concerned.

"I'm home -"

Just then, her mother returned.

"Shizuka, are you home? What's the matter, the lights aren't on."

The sound of the switch came and light surrounded her.

"Welcome home. What, I must have fallen asleep." Standing, she stretched, to find that her hands and feet had gotten cold and her feet were asleep.

"What is that?" Her mother noticed the ashtray full of burnt matches. "Were you trying to be the Little Match Girl or something?"

"You understand?" Shizuka asked, her feet prickling.

"Well. In a normal household where someone smoked, I might have thought that you were trying smoking. But my daughter wouldn't go that far."

"Why not?"

"Because it would be bad for your throat and lungs, wouldn't it?"

"That's true."

Because that was definitely the case, she smiled. Her mother's answer was sensible. In Shizuka's situation, if she had said "I believe in you" it would have been creepy and she wouldn't have been happy.

"Well? Did anything appear?" Her mother looked cheerfully into the remains of the bonfire, as Shizuka ducked her head.

"That I went out to our house where there was a chicken in the oven and something like crab salad in the refrigerator."

"Plus, cake." Her mother took the box with the Christmas cake and placed it on the table. The order had been placed a month ago, for the special chocolate cake made by a neighborhood bakery that made a limit of twenty at a time.

"Too bad, the ghost of Grandma didn't come out." Shizuka reported, as she opened the cake box. To which her mother, who was going to get the chicken, turned and said, "Don't say such scary things."

"Mom, don't you want to see Grandma?"

"When she died, I thought it would be all right if I saw her as a spirit."

"And now?"

"I don't think that. When so many years have passed since she died, if she hasn't passed into Nirvana, it would be sad, right. To have regrets in this world." (E: In Buddhism, as well as many other belief systems, regrets or unfinished business tie a spirit to this world)

"Regrets, huh?" Shizuka nabbed the figure of Santa that had been made from meringue and powdered sugar and popped it into her mouth, then shut the lid of the cake box.

"Wait for your father to come home before eating the cake, will you?" As her mother warned her, Santa was already in her mouth, melting.

"If I died right now, that would be one regret I would have."

"...What are you saying? You're taking revenge on your father, aren't you. You've got a grudge from when he took that one pink soumen and ate it in spring." (E: soumen are wheat flour noodles. In spring, especially for Girl's Day, you can find them colored white pink and green.)

"That's not it."

"Because you're young, you remember and retaliate after a long time, when the other person has completely forgotten."

"Yeah?" As expected of a mother, she noticed everything.

"And you also make that face every time you pull a prank."

"This face?"

"The face of a person who has drunk cola and been refreshed, kind of face. Hey. What are you thinking about doing?"

"Doing? Don't talk to me like I'm a troublemaker."

However, Shizuka was thinking, "Is that it, I wonder." That she from now on had said she would do it, and maybe it would disturb the minds of some kinds of people, it had that meaning.

Moreover, she thought she would dare to do it.

I understand. What I was asking of myself.

What she wanted was the straight gaze of that person. Created only for Shizuka and with no fake words.

What would she have to do in order to obtain that? She would think about that, and let her love throb in her heart.

"I wonder if I should get my hair cut first." Shizuka ran her fingers through her long hair and smiled.




Part Two

In Library - II



Yumi.

Really, Yumi.

(Mm.)

It's no good is it, falling asleep in this place.

(Ah, yes. It'll happen soon. No, I am not asleep.)

You're a hopeless girl. Even when I shake you, you won't wake up.

(Therefore, um. I'm not asleep, obviously. Onee-sama.)

This is troublesome. ....Fine, all of you can just go home ahead of us then. Me? After I read five more pages of this book. Until then, she can sleep. Right. That's what I think too.

(All of you? What are you thinking, what's going on?)

Yes, good day.

(Good day, she says. Wait please, Onee-sama. I'm waking up now.)

"Onee-sama!" Yumi's own pathetic voice cried out as her eyes opened.

"Onee-sama...., a dream? Ah, mm, reality?"

This was the Rose Mansion, and the form of Onee-sama was not to be seen. Where was Onee-sama, other than Yumi there was no one else.

"Umm." Calm down, calm down. Put your thoughts in order, won't you.

"First of all, Shimako-san and the others said they are going to the gymnasium, and from there will return to the Rose Mansion, where Onee-sama will want to drink some tea...."

Right there was a memory. After that, because it was suspicious, starting a conversation about something that was bothering her about the school festival, as if it were an idle chat. But as she came to no conclusion, at that point, she fell prostrate across the table.

"I wonder if everyone will come back."

In the drain board by the sink, there were six cups that had been used, now clean and nicely drying.

At any rate, "I'm not running after her" so she hadn't stood up, she rethought her "Wait, please."

"It seemed as if Onee-sama would have remained behind...." After she read the book, something like that.

As if in support of that, Sachiko-sama's school coat was hanging over her shoulders. Sachiko-sama's school bag had been left on the chair.

Anyway, Yumi rubbed her chest, relaxing. At least social graces seemed to be returning to the younger sister now. Probably she had just gone out of the room, "in the area" for a moment.

Then, she's sure to come back right away. She would just tidy up her things and wait for Onee-sama.

"Hm?"

She closed the report book and was crowding it back into her bag, when Yumi noticed "something", and turned it over to look at the cover. There, as she had wrestled with drowsiness, had been drawn a cryptic rebus of memo and doodle, when there had been no choice of writing implement, and "stroke" and "stop" had to do for good handwriting. (E: strokes and stops are part of radicals in Kanji)

Yumi read it out loud.

"'I am going to the library. Sachiko.' " That was all of the message. But, that was all that needed to be communicated.

"I see. Onee-sama went to the library."

To return the book she had finished reading, surely that was it. Just then, she could hear the sound of someone climbing the stairs.

"It's Onee-sama." Yumi rushed over to the entrance, and just as she reached the biscuit door, it opened, so she flew out of the room.

"Gyaa-" Just at the moment that the person approached the door, the door she did not open opened, so the person in front of it cried out when someone she did not expect was vomited from the room.

"Gyaa - ... huh?"

"----"

When she thought about it, it was definitely a different voice than Sachiko-sama's. Her chest felt a little tight, but she turned with a look of blame towards the girl. Incidentally, the girl's hair was worn in banana curls. Her old friend, you could say --

"Oh, it's T- Touko-chan...."

"Touko-chan is very sorry for her clumsiness. And, good day."

"W- wait a second." Yumi grabbed Touko's arm as she turned around. "Why are you doing such a quick U-turn?"

"Because Yumi-sama, Touko has no business here it seems." Touko-chan pulled her arm out of her grasp roughly and turned away in stony silence.

"That sounds like you're going around taking order for a liquor store. Anyway. Come in, come in. I'll get some tea ready."

"Taking orders for a liquor store-?" Touko-chan reluctantly entered the room.

When Yumi saw to it that Touko-chan was seated, she went over to the sink to prepare tea. She should probably be getting ready to go home, but she didn't care. Until the day before yesterday, she had been an assistant, but today Touko-chan was a guest after all.

She only had to wash the cup, and even Onee-sama would be likely to entertain guests with great care and not say that she had to go home.

"By the way, Sachiko-onee....I mean Rosa Chinensis is...?"

"Ah, you came because you wanted to see Sachiko-sama?"

"...That is incorrect."

"So that's it. You saw that Sachiko-sama wasn't here, so you were going to go home, now." Yumi inclined her head as if to ask "If not, then why did Touko-chan come?"

"I met Rosa Foetida a little while ago, and at that time, asked if Rosa Chinensis and Yumi-sama had arrived at the Rose Mansion yet, that's all."

"If that's it, then just wait a little while. Because I think Sachiko-sama will return any moment."

"But I've already told you, I didn't come to see Rosa Chinensis, didn't I?"

She had.

"Then, was it me you came to see-?" She said it jokingly, but what she got in response was unexpected.

"That is correct. But, it's all right. After all, what kind of existence is to be referred to as 'Oh, it's Touko-chan...?'"

Ah-, this was a grudge being held over a slip of the tongue. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me and accept my apology. It was just that I thought Sachiko-sama had returned, that's all."

"Hmph. Yumi-sama, you would make that kind of face in front of your Onee-sama, huh."

"That kind of...what kind of face?"

"As if all the muscles had gone loose, very homely."

"Ah, I, I see." This detestable speech was Touko-chan's revenge for earlier, Yumi repeated to herself. She didn't think that, and she hadn't done it. But afterwards, she would make sure to not use that face in front of Onee-sama.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

She places three cups upon the table and filled them with tea; Yumi took a seat facing Touko-chan. One was for Touko-chan, one for herself and the third was for Sachiko-sama who was bound to return sooner or later.

"Nothing."

"Nothing!?"

What the heck. Such an arrogant attitude. Yumi instinctively stood up. Her retaliation "Homely Speech" was already over. So.

"I don't know. If there was something to discuss, you would know, wouldn't you?" Touko-chan averted her face abruptly.

"Eh, M, Me?"

"...That's why I said that it was fine. Whatever it was, forget it, okay?"

There was a feeling of being thrown something more than of being picked on, as Touko conscientiously lowered her head and blew on her tea.

What was it she was trying to say? One of them was being left behind, her expression said. There was no way Touko-chan would come down on her own, Yumi felt.

"Hint."

"I don't know what you mean by a hint. Why would I know about it, whatever that business was?"

"Unh." Yumi put a composite together based on the idea that "discussion" should go in where Touko-chan had come to the Rose Mansion for "that business."

"Oh." Something came up in the net. Right, at that, she slowly dragged a memory up onto the beach.

"Yumi-sama, um, why are you making motions like you are playing tug of war...?"

Because right now, she was just getting to a good spot. Drag, drag.

"Ah." Got it. "Was it perhaps because I visited the first-year Tsubaki classroom after school? Someone told you about that?"

"Well, yes...." Although her face said she didn't understand, Touko-chan affirmed it. Somehow, Yumi was still in the dragging pose it seemed.

"Is that it? I'm sorry. I just wanted to thank you both."

"Thank us, both?" Touko-chan's eyebrows rose.

"Yes. I'm sorry I caused you to have to return the visit."

"There's nothing to apologize for but...."

"Mm?"

"You already gave us the mechanical pencils and frankfurters in thanks." Touko-chan said, a little sourly. "You didn't have to extend your thanks again."

"But, I wanted to see you." Because if she saw them, then she could thank them. Honestly, it was more fun that she had expected, even assuming their reliability.

"...So, you had wanted to see Kanako-san?"

"Not specifically, you know." Before Yumi said, "I didn't want to see her", Touko-chan looked out the window and said offhandedly "That girl. She's changed."

"I, I see."

Kanako-chan had changed. She knew that. A lot happened to her at the school festival after all, and her values and her relationships to the people around her had changed, so it wasn't that strange.

However, why would Touko-chan break the ice on that?

"Rosa Chinensis hasn't returned, I guess."

"So it seems. She's late."

Their time drinking tea was already over. Probably the tea for Sachiko-sama was tired of waiting and had gone cold; she'd need to change the tea in the cup.

"Where did she go?"

"The Library."

"The Library, you say?" Touko-chan inclined her head.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just think that that may be incorrect."

"Why do you say that?"

To Yumi's question, Touko answered, "I came here from the Library."

Just so.




Joanna


What did this person say, you wonder?

"If you can't handle the rehearsal satisfactorily, how will you do it for the actual event, I wonder?"

Those words might seem to be the answer, but actually it was the opposite. In order to be the best on the day of the show, one practices repeatedly, doesn't one. That's what I wanted to say but then, for a short time I pretended to become "The lowerclassman who became dejected because of a scolding." One word in rebuttal in that situation would become who knows how many in return. Though I didn't want her to think that she had defeated me with her words, it would have been far worse for the others if practice had been interrupted any further.

Today's rehearsal space was the front part of a classroom, with all the desks moved to the back of the room. We had reached the climax of the play the drama club was going to perform for the school festival, Wakakusa Monogatari. (E: The Japanese name for Little Women by Louisa May Alcott.)

I was silent, eyes down -- the meaning of this was to show that I had conceded the point but, mistakenly Sempai A misunderstood it to be an invitation to be even more arrogant in her attitude.

The adviser was absent at a staff meeting. The president, who was always a good buffer, had just left the room for a short time to handle some tasks in regards to the school festival, just before it happened. This was the place where I, acting the role of Amy, bit into a line. This was her cue.

"Matsudaira-san, you're only one of the lead roles, I wonder if you're not taking practice too lightly, if you have the ability to do it. High School Drama club is a different case than Middle School club. We allowed ourselves to be dragged down when you were cast as that role, perhaps?"

When I heard that, I could hear the sound of laughter in the midst of the club members in that place.

(Hmph.) So that was the way they thought. It wasn't just the one person; it was three or four of them.

(Well then, if my acting ability is that important.)

Masterpiece.

"Is something funny?"

Up to that point I had been more or less able to tolerate it however, my patience ran out when they laughed at me, and Sempai A rubbed me the wrong way.

"Nothing." She seemed to be laughing as she said it, I thought.

Whether the casting had been dragged down until now, she didn't know. One would expect that the casting was as much higher as the status of the High School Drama Club was of the middle school.

After all, this sempai had been noted by Eimi-sensei to be perfect for the role of Jennie Snow. But, for the convenience of the time for the performance, the scene where Amy has pickled limes had been cut.

"What are you saying?"

"Don't you think you were conceited, accepting the role of Amy?"

"I had no intention of being conceited. However, if you have some specific advice, I'm sure I'd be pleased to take it."

If she even saw one tear, this sempai would have been satisfied, and become kinder, it was easy to see. But, that alone I could never do. I could do fake crying. But, where is there a group that that would be necessary to do that to join? Even in acting, the disgrace of crying will get one labeled, and hinder one's future.

"If you say something, I will do it."

Sempai A smiled coldly as the door opened and the club president returned.

"Sorry I'm late. Ah, you're in the middle of rehearsal. Please continue."

"So, let's take it from the top of that scene one more time."

Semapi A turned her back as if she was running away but, I couldn't just let the conversation and be over, then enter back into practice with good feeling.

"Sempai, I haven't yet heard your response."

"About what, Touko-chan?" The president asked me, somehow feeling the atmosphere at that point.

When I did not offer an explanation, she turned to look over her shoulder and asked Sempai A the same question.

"We were just cautioning this first-year to not hold us back." Sempai A spit out the answer.

"Touko-chan isn't holding us back, is she? I think that. For a first-year, her acting is pretty good."

"Buchou, I don't understand why you are so partial to her. We have who knows how many girls with this amount of acting ability."

On hearing this, Touko somehow became annoyed. This sempai wasn't concerned about the performance; she was just unable to stomach Touko's existence. What she had just said was pointless. It was impossible to repair this complicated relationship.

"In that case, why don't you play Amy?" I said.

There was no way she could say that they were being dragged down, if she suddenly tumbled into the role of Amy; I spoke with a cold glance and a low, terrible voice. For those who only new one side of me, they saw me become a monster before their eyes.

I made this request, confident in my ability to perform the role of Davis-sensei or Aunt March. I wanted her to explain clearly who had what ability.

"Here, please do my lines. Take my script and let me see, please." I grabbed the script with I had laid on the table, opened it to the page, and thrust it at the sempai's chest.

"Touko-chan, stop it."

I heard Buchou's voice, but I couldn’t bring myself to brake completely.

"Y, you don't think I can do it, do you?" Sempai A had taken the script and was tracing the words with her finger.

"Not at all. I'm sure that Sempai will be able to do Amy much more skillfully than I."

"Of course. If you weren't here, that wouldn't trouble our club at all."

I did not want to be with the half-crying sempai for one second more, so I flew out of the room.

Really, what had I become? --Nevertheless.

I wondered what that person was saying.

"What are you saying, you don't want to hear." Already, my feelings about what I wanted were beginning to turn around.

Surely, after two days had passed, the feeling that she had gone too far would begin to bud. But, until she had completely forgotten, she would throw herself wholeheartedly into practice on the Yamayurikai's play.

Despite that.

If she quit the Torikaebaya and returned to the Drama club, the people in the Rose Mansion would wonder why she was so excessively harsh.

When it came to things regarding her, there was one person would understood.

What had I done, what had I thrown away; there was still feelings of regrets about Wakakusa Monogatari.

I wanted to play Amy.

"I'm sure that Sempai will be able to do Amy much more skillfully than I," had come out of my mouth but, there was no one who could do Amy better than I could. I was an indispensable piece on the board in order to make the play a success.

"You say I'm not necessary?"

On the other hand, when she had been told "don't come to the Yamayurikai" she would have been hurt. In the end, all that was, was a whitewashed "You're fired."

What was she grieving for anyway?

Here was not the place for a story about her whereabouts. What had she become, and, what would she throw away after this.

But. The person who gave me the last rites, what was she thinking, as they suddenly abdicated their responsibility and began running wildly around.

"If I accompany you from here, will you go to Drama club?"

"Can you accept walking out on this play?"

What was she saying, this person. Even "Come to my house."

Is she an idiot? Did she lay in wait just to persuade me?

First to tell me "You're fired" then to scold me like a "beloved Onee-sama."

However, she really didn't mind very much. Whatever this unselfish smile said, she was defeated.

"I understand." I took back the hand that she held.

I didn't need a gentle hand. I was not a doll to be embraced by Beth.

I really didn't need to return to be Amy. However--.

As I began to step away, that optimistic voice followed me.

"Eat well and sleep well and stress won't get the better of you. If you want to complain, come to whereever I am, okay?"

Really, that person.

She's an idiot.

With a bitter smile, I nodded to Beth, in the middle of a completely different story.

Continued in Part 2

(E: Joanna is the name of Beth's doll in Little Women)

Tags: Maria-sama ga Miteru, Marimite, In Library